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You Might Be a Redneck If…..

We have all heard the stupid Redneck Jokes saying “You might be a redneck if…..” and then you either laugh until you wet your pants and a tear rolls down your cheek or you simply roll your eyes and shake your head because the joke was just THAT stupid. Well, I have noticed that the person that does the latter sees the joke as only a joke, whereas the person that does the first, has probably heard a story from a friend (or done it themselves…) that could have been very well summed up with that joke! So, having said that…….

“You might be a Redneck if you spend about two hours using an electric fence as entertainment for the whole family!”

Aaahhh, the Electric Fence. A classic really. Having friends over for the first time, inviting them to go pet the horses or cows or sheep or goats, and then letting them touch the wire before telling them it is covered in electricity, the most classical prank that requires hardly any effort on your part. But the Electric Fence is used in more ways than just containing ornery animals and pranking your friends, it is the best learning tool for electricity, not to mention most fun*.  I have asked Chess, my loyal doggie, writing companion, to tell you all the humorous story to the Redneck Joke I just told you! Chess, it’s all you!

*Please Keep this Mental Note in Mind 😉 :

All of the following was done in adult supervision and kept as a learning experience. Also, you will get a very clear idea of how awesomely crazy homeschoolers are, how awesomely crazy rednecks are, how totally rad redneck, homeschooolers are, and how awesomely crazy and totally rad my family is!

Chess the Chesapeake Bay Retriever (Photo credit: Unknown)
Chess the Chesapeake Bay Retriever (Photo credit: Unknown)

Hayo everybody! I am so honored to be able to post on Miss Rayleigh’s official website, my dreams are finally coming true! Anyways, let’s get this story going!

Once upon a time, on a little 2-acre farm way out in the boonies of Texas, there lived a family. A family that was sometimes seen as weird because there happened to be 8 of them in all and all children had been home-schooled their entire lives. Plus this family had a knack of doing the weirdest things for entertainment, putting them at the top of the list of “Rednecks”.

I am here to tell you about one of their “entertaining” experiences that happened in the dusk of a Sunday evening. This little family, lets call them the Grays, had been working in the yard all day. Mowing had been done, weed-eating accomplished, and the garden watered and weeded. One of the children even raked up the mowed grass to feed the horses. So when they finally rested, lounging on the see-saws, they decided it was time for something entertaining.

But before they did anything fun, the father of the family needed to check and make sure that the electric fence was working properly. Somehow or another, one of the children placed a finger on the pulsing fence and felt just a slight tingling and a pop. Removing the finger quickly, the child assured their father that the fence was working and working well.

Another of the children was curious as to how well the fence was working, so he walked over to the fence and placing his whole hand on the fence, he jumped backwards at the jolting shock. The family laughed and the father explained that when you wear rubber boots and touch electricity, you will not get shocked, whereas if you do not wear rubber, you will get shocked. This explanation caused the family to experiment, and before you knew it, they were all in a long line, holding hands, seeing how far down the line one could send the electricity!

This went on for nearly an hour or so as they changed orders, pressed dares, and laughed at one another’s reaction to the shocking experience. The family dog even got involved, when placing her paw on the foot of one of the children to see what it felt like! My, my, what a crazy family!

You know, this story reminds me another one about Miss Rayleigh. The Gray family had just bought some goats, but these weren’t just any goats, no these were ornery little stinkers and they had to put in an electric fence for them too. And Rayleigh, she-

“Ah, Chess, I am sure the audience does not want to hear about my youthful adventures concerning goats and, ah, fences with electricity running along them. So, let’s just bring this post to a close shall we?”

“I couldn’t just tell how you taught-“

“Thank you Chess, oh so much for telling us this story, we have had a wonderful time. Will definitely try to do it again in the future!”

“Yes! And I will tell the story of how you taught the goats-”

“Thank you my dear audience for reading! *Whispers to Chess* Go ahead and say bye, but leave off with a Redneck Joke, that will be the perfect end!” 

“Goodbye my fellow readers and always remember “You might be a Redneck if you personally teach your goats what an electric fence is!”

“Oh bother…… why did I choose a dog? Goodbye audience!”

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3 thoughts on “You Might Be a Redneck If…..”

  1. Hi, Rayleigh!
    Today is my first visit here, and I’ve stopped by to answer your comment. I would be happy for you to include my blog in you meme- thanks for the offer. 😀

    I’ve found that you liked a Jen Turano book. Yay! Aren’t her books awesome? So looking forward to her next story.

    Have a lovely day,
    Grace

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