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Chess and the Overdose of Coffee

Chess the Chesapeake Bay Retriever (Photo credit: Unknown)
Chess the Chesapeake Bay Retriever (Photo credit: Unknown)

Hey everyone! Chess is back! I cannot begin to express my feelings of apologies for leaving you all for so long! That was so rude and I will make sure that it doesn’t happen again, without warning that is. Anyways let’s get to the story that you all have been waiting for!

Today’s story opens with Cody and I sitting on the porch early in the morning. Cody sat in his rocking chair sipping steaming coffee that smelled like pumpkin, lots of cream, and a hint of cinnamon. I have a really great smeller,that and I heard Cody’s mom ask him what he wanted.

Anyways, Cody and I always sit out here until the school bus comes by to pick him up. If he doesn’t drink all of his coffee, he puts the cup in front of me and let’s me drink the rest, then I take the cup inside and put it on the table. I don’t care to much for pumpkin coffee, so on this particular day, I was hoping that Cody drank it all.

“Chess, I totally forgot to tell you! Pookie is moving in with us!” Cody said suddenly grabbing my attention.

Pookie the Mini Poodle. (Photo Credit dogbreedinfo.com)
Pookie the Mini Poodle. (Photo Credit dogbreedinfo.com)

“Mrs. Kelly found out that she is highly allergic to dogs, which kind of makes sense if you ask me, but she has to find Pookie a new home. Beens you two are pretty good friends, I thought you would enjoy having him around all the time. That, and mom is in love with him.” He said and went back to drinking his coffee as I sat staring at him in horror.

Pookie moving in? Like living with me? Like I have to see him every day? This couldn’t be happening! Sure I like the kid all right, but my poor nerves can’t handle him on a daily basis! I let out a pitiful whine and laid my head down on the deck, placing my paws on top.

“What is your problem?” Cody asked just as the bus pulled into the driveway, like I could tell him to send Pookie home with Kody-with-a-K so I wouldn’t see him every day. Oh wait, yes I would.

“Bye Chess! Here’s the rest of my coffee.” He patted my head as if I was a puppy, set the cup down in front of me, and them galloped off into the sunset, the yellow bus sunset. I looked into the coffee mug, there was about a fourth of coffee left in it. I smelled it and the smell convinced me that I should give pumpkin coffee another try. So I stuck my tongue out and carefully placed it into the lukewarm liquid. As soon as that stuff touched my taste buds, I jumped back shaking my head to free my tongue of the nasty liquid! Yuck! I can still practically taste it!

I was shaking my head so violently that I didn’t hear Mrs. Kelly pull up, or Cody’s mom walk outside to greet her, or them unloading every stinking toy Pookie owns, or even Mrs. Kelly leaving. When I finally decided that the taste was gone, I stopped shaking and looked at my tongue that was now extremely dry and wrinkled. As I sat staring at my tongue, wondering at the weird sensation of not being able to feel it, I suddenly noticed something big, fluffy and white staring at me.

“What are you doing Chess?” Asked the squeaky voice that I know all too well.

“I am sthudying a thog’s thongue.” I replied looking up at him with only my eyes. My tongue was still hanging out of my mouth when I said that, so my voice sounded really weird. Pookie walked around me and then sat back down in front of me, he was also staring at my tongue.

After a few moments of silence he asked his famous question, “Why?”

“Becausthe it lookths, and feelths, verthy intheresthing. I’ve never thaken the thime to sthudy a thog’s thongue before.” I am not certain that Pookie heard me right, but that is what I said, so don’t ask him his side of the story.

“Um, Okay. So what made you want to study your tongue?” Pookie asked.

“That nasthy coffee.” I said with eyes narrowed at the cursed coffee cup.

“Coffee?!” Pookie asked without missing a beat, “Where?!”

I nodded my head in the direction of the cup and Pookie took off across the porch saying, “Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee!!!!” Then stuck his entire little bitty head into the cup.

I had now lost interest in my tongue so I pulled it back into my mouth and panicked when I still couldn’t feel it. I ran into the house where my water bowl was and just about cried when my tongue hit the bottom of the bowl without hitting a drop of water. I looked around the room for anything to cure my dry-tongueness and yelped with joy when I saw the coffee pot on the counter, with a wide lid big enough for me to drink the liquid.

Now my tongue was hanging out of my mouth again because there was no way for me to know whether or not it was in or out, I couldn’t feel it.
Without thinking about it, I jumped into a kitchen chair, then up onto the kitchen table, and made I giant leap onto the counter. My back feet slid into the sink but I didn’t care, the coffee pot was within reach so I stuck my head into the coffee pot and began lapping the liquid that I couldn’t taste.

A little at a time my taste buds returned and just as I had licked the coffee pot clean, I realized what I was drinking. More pumpkin coffee!
I let my tongue fall out of my mouth and I began barking as I fell off the counter. I would not allow myself to shake my head for fear of tongue-wrinklness so I did the only logical thing that a dog could do, I ran to the toilet. About halfway through the hallway however, I encountered an obstacle; Cody’s mother.

“Chess! What have I told you about running in the house?!” She yelled at me when I knocked the laundry basket out of her hands. Then she bent down, grabbed my collar and drug me back outside.

“If you have so much energy, then you can spend it all outside until Cody gets home!” And with that, she slammed the door and locked the doggie door, so I couldn’t get in.

“Chess? What did you do this time?” Pookie asked, his innocent face staring up at me.

“Not now Pookie!” I replied and took off running to the pond, Pookie close behind.

I was sincerely surprised at how long I was able to run without having to stop, in fact, I made it all the way to the pond without panting. And when I got there, I didn’t want to stop running, so, I started jumping up and down as I made my way across the dock. Once at the end, I did a beautiful dive into the water and anxiously began drinking and swimming at the same time. Once I couldn’t drink anymore, I swam to where Pookie stood ashore, staring at me in bewilderment.

I shook all of the water off of me, but I just didn’t want to stand still, so I started running laps around Pookie, but then I started getting dizzy, so I stopped for a second so that I could decide where I wanted to run to and then asked Pookie, “Wanna race to Prin’s house?”

Princess Pea, also known as Prin, the English Pointer.
Princess Pea, also known as Prin, the English Pointer. (photo credit: unknown)

“Prin’s house?! That’s a long ways away!” Pookie exclaimed.

“So? The longer the better!” I couldn’t handle just standing still so I start doing some fancy footwork to keep in the spirit.

“Why don’t I ride on your back? Like you’re a pony?!” Pookie asked.

I stopped with the footwork and looked at him, then to my surprise I said, “Yes! Now hurry up!”

So, there we went, Pookie on my back, his little legs holding on to me with all his might and my collar between his teeth, and me running as fast as I possibly could down the long road. I had no idea what had gotten into me, I’d never ran that long or hard before, especially without stopping for a breath, but there I was! Just as I rounded the curve headed up to Prin’s house however, I started getting winded, and my legs started aching, and I felt like I could fall over at any minute.

So I did, as soon as I made it up Prin’s porch steps.

“Chess? What on earth is wrong with you?!” Prin’s sophisticated speech was hindered by the surprise of me laying spread out on her porch and gasping for air like a fish who needed water.

“He ran all the way here. With me on his back. Right after he ran into the pond and started doing summersaults in the water.” Pookie looked at me with a very concerned look, “I think he needs to go to the doctor. Something’s really wrong with him.”

“My, my, my! You have been busy Chess! Whatever possessed you to run like that? Was it something you ate perhaps?” Prin inquired looking just as concerned as Pookie. I was still struggling to catch my breath so I didn’t bother answering them, I just attempted to sit up, and failed. I couldn’t feel my legs.

“Chess? Are you going to be okay dear or should I go get my mistress?” Prin asked with her nose inches from mine, so that all I was looking at were her beautiful brown eyes.

“You have beautiful eyes.” I sighed, apparently out loud, as she quickly pulled her head back and said to Pookie, “I do believe that you are right, he may need a doctor after all!”

“No, no no no no! I’m fine! See?!” I stood up much too quickly and fell again. But then I tried again and stood perfectly straight, at least that’s what I think I did. “No doctor needed!” I said confidently.

“Well, if you say so dear. Now, would you mind telling me why you ran all of the way to my home and collapsed onto my porch? I am just curious you see, as this does not happen to me often.” She again sat down next to Pookie and they both sat staring at me with wide eyes.

“Well I’d love to tell you Princess Pea, but I’m afraid that I don’t know any more than you on the subject. I just had an urge to run that’s all.” I scratched behind my ear as I said that, like it was no big deal.

“I told you to stop calling me that, Chestnut. You shall call me Prin.” She smiled in retort.

“Now hold on a minute. My name ain’t Chestnut. It’s Chess. Wherein the heck did you get Chestnut?”

“It is what I shall call you should you continue calling me Princess Pea.” She smiled in a cocky way.

“Fine, Prin.” I rolled my eyes. I always called her Prin whenever I was talking about her, it’s just that I always thought she deserved to be called her full name when spoken to, after all, she was a princess.

“Now for your unresolved urge to run. You must have eaten something to give you that uncanny amount of energy. Did you eat anything out of the ordinary my dear?” She asked inspecting me again.

“I hadn’t eaten anything today, only drank Cody’s nasty, gross, disgusting, taste of nastiness coffee!” I shook my head and made a funny face at the memory.

“Coffee! Well my dear there is your answer!” She exclaimed, “Just exactly how much of the boy Cody’s coffee did you consume?”

“Um, well it’s a long story.” I began telling her of all the little bitty tiny details of my morning, ignoring the small fact that Pookie was moving in with me, figured he would want to elaborate on that subject. At the end of my tale, Prin exclaimed, “Chess! My word! An entire pot of coffee! And on an empty stomach no less! It is a wonder you did not fly to the moon!” She began laughing in her dainty way.

“Well, I’m glad it was only coffee. Chess, you really had me worried.” Pookie still looked concerned.

“It’s all right Poo, I’m in perfect health. Though now I know what to do next year during that Doggie Marathon,” I made an evil grin, “I will most definitely win!”

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